The wolves are better than ever, but there's trouble brewing. Will you fight to your death, or will you conquer?
 
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 Er.. um this is just a little preview..

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PostSubject: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Fri Mar 06, 2009 4:24 pm

Ok this is part of a book that i want to right plz let me kno if its good at all so I can continue it... but i just want opnions on it.

“Taya!?” Talic called as I ran through the forest in tears. Talic called again in a softer tone this time. “Taya.” I kicked my legs as fast as I could slamming my paws into the ground while I ran. “Im sorry! I shouldn’t have exposed you like that!” He yelled. The tears streamed faster down my face now. Talic had finally caught up to me and bounced in front of me, skidding me to a stop. “Look im sorry.” I sobbed as he apologized again. “The deed has been done Talic! You know I’ve been keeping this secret for years! Now I have been exposed.” I said staring at the ground as tears streamed down my face still. “Taya it slipped out, im sorry.” I growled in a angry tone. “What will Ethan think of me now? Just a dog!” I screeched. “Well, you have to admit Taya he is human.” He said calmly. I glared at him. “So? What’s your point?” I growled. “You shouldn’t be with a human, you should be with your kind, a werewolf!” He shook his head rapidly. “Talic! You are just my friend. Don’t you understand that I love Ethan and not you. I have been with Kyle for three years and he has not known my secret. Your jealousy went overboard and let my secret loose!” I snapped, my jaws making a loud crackle sound. “Tay-“ I stopped him from continuing and spoke. “Talic, I don’t care of your stupid excuse’s, Just get the hell away from me and leave me alone!” I snarled and began running. “Taya, please.” He whispered. It wasn’t soon after I had heard a familiar voice echoing my name through the forest. “Taya.” His voice calm and quiet. I sat there quietly still in my wolf form. His scent smelled well. Not the way of eating him but in a good way. His steps were getting closer to me. I sighed I didn’t want him to see my wolf form. He stopped as he saw me, my light orange fur stood out for him to almost notice who I was. He stared into my Blue eyes as if he knew exactly who I was. “Taya?” He whispered quietly. My ears went back with a quiet whimper. “Taya it’s ok im not afraid of you, I know you won’t hurt me.” He said quietly as he kneeled down to look into my eyes again. I sighed and turned human again and quickly put on my clothes while he turned away. “Why, haven’t you told me about this?” He said with a sigh. “Im sorry, I didn’t want you to know im half wolf-” He put his hand on my lips as if for me not to continue. “You know I will always love you even if you’re a wolf.” I stared at him with my eyes sad. “Listen, it’s okay, I have hid my secrets from you also and its best if you not find out.” I looked at him curiously. “Wha-“ He put his finger on my lips again. “Hush, It’s better for you not to know.” He smiled. “Ethan, please?” I pleaded. “Shush.” He said and before I could speak again his lips were locked on to mine. I pushed away suddenly smelling Talics scent. Ethan pulled away at the same time I did, I wonderwhy he did? I sighed, Talic stood leaning against a tree, His expression wasn’t too friendly he had his arms crossed. “Talic?” I asked in a calm voice wondering what had gotten into him. Ethan stood beside me. Talic’s angered look, began to frighten me. “Talic are you ok-“ Before I could finish I saw him jump into his wolf form and lunge for my throat.


Last edited by XswiftpawX02 on Fri Mar 06, 2009 4:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Fri Mar 06, 2009 4:28 pm

im also working on chap 2. its more interisting then chap one and longer.
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Fri Mar 06, 2009 4:59 pm

No comments yet? ): Gee, its that bad isnt it.. maybe i aint that good at creating storys...
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:03 pm

Bravo bravo man that was really good i mean i could never do that if i wanted to beleave me
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:32 am

thankk u Smile... im almost done wit. chap 2.
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:48 am

THAT IS THE BESTEST STORY IVE HERD O.O MOAR PLZ i luve it =3
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 2:39 pm

lol, ok i finished chap 2 trying to work on chap 3 now Very Happy


It was weird, I thought I saw Talic lunge at me. Was I seeing things? I looked at Ethan and he was in front of me in a protective stance crouched down almost. I looked at Talic and he was laying next to the tree as if he had been slammed into it. Talic growled at Ethan. “You know, that is why I hate you.” Ethan got up straight and crossed his arms and grinned grimly. “That is why, Im always near her.” Talic gave a growl. Some how I was clutched with my eyes closed hugging Ethans back. Ethan glared at Talic. “Leave or els.” Talic glared at him then got up and walked away still cautioned for any after attacks. Ethan turned to look at me, but my eyes were closed and I was to terrified to get off of him. Ethan finally spoke. “Taya, Open your eyes it’s okay, I promise.” It had tooken me a great force to open my eyes. Soon, I noticed I was sobbing on to his black sweater. I didn’t understand why, Talic had wanted to Attack me but I had a thought he would rather had me dead then to be with Ethan. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just get a grip, on that I love Ethan to much. I had finally let go of Ethan but he clutched me to him. “It’s alright Taya.” His voice sounded confident. “Your fine.” He hugged me. I looked up at him. He lifted me then put me onto a log. He sat next to me and then put me onto his lap. “Taya? You ok?” He asked in a concerned voice. I turned and looked at him and I put my hand in his soft dark yellow hair. “Im okay, Ethan.” I mumbled and kissed him lightly. I pulled away when I had run out of air. “Ethan?” I asked in a quiet voice. “Please tell me your secret as you know mine.” I whispered. Ethan looked at me. “I suggest that stays unknown.” He said with a deep sigh. “Please?” I pleaded in a sad voice. “No.” he answered. I sighed and put my head onto his chest. “Please Ethan? I want to know.” I mumbled. “Must you go on?” He asked.
“Maybe.” I giggled now hiding my face into his chest. He chuckled a bit. “So will you tell me?” I asked in the same pleading voice. He sighed “Later on I promise.” I sighed and my smile went to frown. He chuckled again as if he known I would react that way. He held me close to a hug as he stroke my long dark brown hair. Our bonding was interrupted when three voices were heard.
“Taya? Ethan?” A male voice called.
“Taya!” A female voice this time I could recognize who’s voice it was.
“Ethan! Taya!” Another it was a male voice again but I knew who it was. He approached us. “I found them.” He called to the other two. “Ethan, Taya? Why’d you leave?” The guy who had approached us spoke.
Ethan answered before I could. “Well, we wanted to be alone for a bit, but apparently that can’t happen with you, Michael and Kaya always on our back.” He smiled weakly. Michael walked to us. “Sorry.” Michael muttered. “Would you like us to leave?” Kaya smiled. “No, its okay we were just about to go back to the beach.” Cody laughed. “Meanwhile you two were away, we had spent most of the time trying to put up the tent.” I tilted my head a bit. “You guy’s didn’t have to do that. Me and Ethan could’ve.” Cody smiled. “No worrys, We already did it.” He paused.. “What are you going to do? Go take the tent down and put it back together your selves?” He chuckled. “That’s exactly what were going to do,” Ethan smiled lightly. I looked at Ethan with a slight smile. “Aww, Ethan come on we didn’t spend our time trying to put something up that was just going to be teared back down,” He sighed.
“Im just kidding Cody, do you have to take everything so serious?” Ethan laughed and I couldn’t help but laugh also. Cody rolled his eyes. Meanwhile Michael began to ask me a question. “Taya where did Talic go? I thought you guy’s said you wanted to be alone.” He said in a suspicious tone. “We did but Talic, being himself followed us into the forest and began acting jealous and tried to hurt Taya for being with me. So I kind of just punched him and he ran off.” Ethan answered but I knew he was lying so he wouldn’t have to answer anymore questions. I looked around and heard a howl. I knew it was Talic. I sighed. Then Kaya flinched as she had heard the howl. “Can we go before a pack of wolves come and shred us to pieces?” She asked in a low tone. Well that pack of wolves is actually Talic. I said in my head and rolled my eyes then Ethan finally spoke. “Alright then lets go.” He answered. He got up making me stand also. He hugged me while we walked to our camp spot. And of course Cody being his total self he began making up scary story’s that were actually really scary but had made no sense to me. It had been about one a.m. when we decided to get to sleep. Ethan and I shared a tent. Kaya, Michael, and Cody had their own tent. I laid in my sleeping bag and Ethan was in his, but close to me also. He was pretending to sleep as usual I never understood why he always done that and I never asked. Tonight I planned to ask him. “Ethan?” I whispered. And of course he replied. “Yes?” He asked. “Umm… can I ask you a question?” I smiled a nervous smile. “Of course.” He smiled back. “Well, Why do you always pretend t-”
Before I could answer he rolled on top of me. He shifted his weight up so I wouldn’t feel it. Of course he didn’t have his sleeping bag on he had been laying on it instead. “Well will you an-”
Before I could continue once again he kissed me to distract me. He pulled back with a smile. “What?” He asked happily.
“Nothing.” I laughed. Then he rolled off me. “You were saying?” He asked. “Well, why do you always pretend to sleep?” I asked curiously. He sighed. “I’ll let you know when I tell you my secret.” I sighed too. “When, will this later be?” I asked unhappily. “Soon enough.” He smiled at me. “Go to sleep.” He muttered. I pulled up against his chest and laid there. I fell to sleep after a few minutes.
The bright sun woke me up early I was guessing it was about seven thirty a.m. and guess who was up already, yup Ethan was up already. He had made a fire to warm us up before we had even woken up. “How come your up so early every day?” I asked him. “Early to bed, early to rise makes a good man, healthy, wealthy, and wise.” He stated with a slight chuckle. I rolled my eyes. I hated when he used that quote on me, I found it to be annoying. “So Taya what would you life for breakfast.” He smiled. I walked over to him and whispered. “I prefer to hunt.” He nodded. He had grabbed and pulled about three logs light enough but heavy enough for us to sit on. Then we saw Kaya and Michael come out of the same tent. “Umm…?” I mumbled. “Have a bad dream Kaya?” A grin struck Ethans face.
Michael laughed. “Yes she did, a very bad one.”
Kaya rolled her eyes.
Cody walked out of his tent.
“Morning Cody.” Michael and Kaya said together. “Has anyone seen the pu-… I mean Talic?” I stopped myself from saying Pup just in case if they had gotten suspicious. “No.” Cody answered. I turned my head to Kaya’s and Michaels direction they both shook there head. Then I turned to Ethan he shook his head. “Sorry Taya.” He murmured. “If you want we could go look for him?” I shook my head in disagreement. “We’ve got school tomorrow and I need to get ready for it.” I would make up any excuse to not go look for Talic. “And im pretty sure he’ll be there.” I mumbled the last words. They looked at me except Ethan who had seemed to be thinking of something els. “Well what’s for breakfast?” Cody asked. I looked at him. “Cody mind if, Ethan and I go into the forest for a bit?” He nodded. With that I started walking into the forest with Ethan behind me a little further back. I had soon turned into a wolf and now I couldn’t speak to Ethan but I could speak to Talic if I wanted to. I sighed and decided to talk to him.
Talic? I said in my head.
LEAVE ME ALONE! He snarled. Talic get control over yourself ok? He stayed quiet then spoke. Just leave me alone Taya! I sighed. As you wish Talic, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at school? I heard him mumble some words but I wasn’t sure what he had said. Alright then? I muttered. By the time I finish talking to Talic I had reached the scent of a heard of elk. I saw Ethans change in mood also. I wish I could talk to people as a wolf but I couldn’t. I sighed and went back into my human form while Ethan was busy thinking of something. I had quickly threw my clothes on making sure he wouldn’t see. “Ethan?” I said slowly.
“Yes?” He answered.
“You have to tell me what is up with you.” I said calmly and with that he began to talk to me.
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:05 pm

It's great. What a Face
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:10 pm

Smile thank u...
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:36 pm

ok can sumone help me witha title... idk wat to call it..
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:38 pm

how about "The Wolves...," lol jk jk
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:14 pm

thats great but what is the story about
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:16 pm

wereewolf dat luvs a vamp technicly but i wanted to rite the story first to like think about wats it rlly about.
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:26 pm

what about <The Secret Lifes>
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:38 pm

hmm thats sounds like something good.
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:39 pm

it kind of makes sence since the girl taya is a werewolf and the boy ethan is a vampire
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:41 pm

damn that was sorta obvious wasnt it?
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:55 pm

ya nit was becuause it said that why do you pretend to sleep because vampires dont sleep
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Thu Mar 26, 2009 2:16 pm

It's really good. You should name it after the climax of the story, the point where there's the most action. From this I could call it the Changing, Forbidden, or Secret. (Just some ideas)
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Fri Mar 27, 2009 1:05 pm

Those are acctually good names for it.
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Fri Mar 27, 2009 8:24 pm

thanx, i cant write but i can make titles
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Fri Mar 27, 2009 8:35 pm

Swift pm the chapters you have done(1,2)and keep the chapters coming k? I can edit and i can read them and let you know if there is something that needs changing .I can also edit .....ONLY if you want k?????

Please??
Please??
C'mon bud!!!!
Please?
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Fri Mar 27, 2009 8:37 pm

lol ok, but put up a poll and see if i should continue my story. i dont want to be putting stuff up for nuthin
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Fri Mar 27, 2009 8:39 pm

I will k? YAY!!!!!

So, my job;Edit;Read;Vote;give good tips; OK IM READY!!
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PostSubject: Re: Er.. um this is just a little preview..   Fri Mar 27, 2009 8:40 pm

i love them and i want to read more!!!!!!!
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